Everybody loves a good ol’ Grade A, ultra tough, balls-to-the-wall Bad-Ass. Girls want them. Guys want to be them. But who are baddest of asses? On that note, the top ten list of gaming badasses will start off with a thoroughly deserving a girl.
10. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Fearlessness and voluptuousness have never been put together in a more enticingly hardcore fashion. With dual pistols strapped lovingly to generous thighs, Lara Croft has been battling undead mummies, dinosaurs and genetically modified mutants for well over a decade now. Fearless gymnastics, astounding marksmanship and delicious lips definitely earn her a spot on the list.
“Grand entrances are always impractical, that’s what makes them grand.” – Lara
9. Commander Shepard: Mass Effect
Whether you opted for a male or female version, this is one commander who’s just as happy to stomp down fearlessly on evil gun wielding minions as he/she is to jump enthusiastically into bed with blue aliens. Good times.
“You know me, always like to savor that last shot before popping the heatsink.” – Shepard
8. Max Payne: Max Payne
You can say whatever you like about the movies. Max Payne is a triple-certified badass. The loss of any family member is difficult, but Maxie boy responded in kind and started deleting his digital foes like they were typos in an end-of-term essay. This is one cop we wouldn’t be so keen to stick our middle finger up at for giving us a speeding ticket.
“This kind of place made me want to puke. I needed a real drink to cope with the electronic music and robotic people.” – Max Payne
7. Dante: Dantes Inferno
Imagine it. You get to the end of your natural days, Death himself comes along and that’s you finished. What does Dante do? He ganks Death, lootz his scythe and goes around killing everything in his path, including the gatekeeper to deeper hell. Surely, no one can question his place on this list…
“The path to paradise begins in hell.”- Dante
6. Marcus Fenix: Gears of War
Okay, so Marcus is kind of a wimpy name but, with a jaw broader than most people’s shoulders, Fenix epitomizes the special forces squad leader archetype. He carries more people over his shoulder than any other game in the same genre…
“Ugh, I think I got some on me, now I got the cooties.” – Marcus
5. Connor: Assassin’s Creed
No assassin does context-sensitive parkour quite like Connor. A more subtle and complex character of a badass than we may be used to in the past, the most recent assassin in this series has been shaped to take advantage of the franchise’s development in the badass stakes, so he gets the spot.
“My enemy is a notion, not a nation.” – Connor
4. Master Chief: Halo
If anyone has a jawline broader than Marcus Fenix’s, it’s the Master Chief. We’re unable to prove that at this stage, but rumor has it that it’s actually Chuck Norris behind the mask. whoever it is under there. He’s on the list.
3. Vaas Montenegro: Far Cry 3
Rarely has the screw-loose-psychotic badass been exemplified to a more perfect extent than Far Cry 3’s Vaas Montenegro. In the beginning of the game, you can almost smell the insanity wafting through the bamboo bars of your shanty prison cage. His scariness is enough to have your heart racing in the opening sequence of this awesome FPS. Badass.
“The world is a diagonal… I am the balancing point.” – Vaas
2. Scorpion: Mortal Kombat
“Get over here!”. Hot damn, that’s one satisfying move to pull off. Move over Sub Zero… There’s a good reason why NetherRealm Studios decided to add this undead Ninja Specter on its company logo. Scorpion is a pedigree, thoroughbred walking nightmare of a badass.
“Vengeance will be mine!” – Scorpion
1. Kratos: God of War
There really could be only one winner of this competition. Anyone who’s watched the “making of” the God of War series will understand where the developers dug the inspiration for making this game and this ultrakill, dominating, godlike, badass of a protagonist. Only one person ever conceived could lead an army of Spartans. Kratos found himself the number one spot.
“You will pay for this Zeus, be certain of that!” – Kratos
Over to you…
Do you disagree with our list? Who are your favorite gaming badasses of all time? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.