The San Andreas Hot Coffee Minigame
There are controversies in every industry; music, movies, government healthcare systems… and of course gaming. Very few video games have gotten so much public attention as the Grand Theft Auto series. Arguably the peak of the series’ ability to have people frothing at the mouth while they lobby politicians for a ban was in San Andreas with a minigame called “Hot Coffee.” But this raunchy QTE addition wasn’t quite the core gameplay it was made out to be. A group of noble game modders rooted around in the directories and found an abandoned addition that Rockstar wisely decided not to include in the released title. Sadly, the fact it was there was enough. Newspapers and regulatory bodies alike went apeshit crazy. Realistically, it was only accessible on the PC version
Mind Control and Epilepsy Weapons
This one’s actually pretty creepy. Polybius was an old-school arcade box from the 80s. The game was reportedly released in a tiny number of neighborhoods in Portland, Oregon and apparently caused epileptic seizures and nightmares. Subliminal messages popped up on the screen saying things like, “do to not question authority”, “stay asleep”, “no ideas” and “consume”. Can you say W. T. F? Theorists believe it was a military experiment considering the use of videogames as weapons of mass control. Conspiracy? Or just good business in the world of politics? Hey! This is just a gaming blog. What do we know?!
Check out the video here but only if you’re not prone to epileptic fits.
Games Ruin Your Attention Span
Contrary to popular belief, games do not ruin your attention span. This is a fallacy originating from comparisons between television and videogames but, as Lawrence Lessing (a law professor at Stanford University, no less) points out, television is a “read-only” media, meaning it profits from the total co-operation and submission of the viewer. Videogames? They’re interactive. Many researchers have demonstrated the “read/write” nature of videogames and how they immerse us in compelling, competitive, learning environments actually benefits attention spans in both the short and long-term.
Blowing your NES Cartridges is a Bad Thing
If you’re old and now thoroughly decrepit, you may just remember this feeling. You put the Duckhunt cartridge to your NES only to find it’s not starting. You know that annoying pain in the ass dog is probably laughing at you inside it somewhere and you want to hold the gun to the screen, pull the trigger and wish you could kill him and not just the ducks. But wait! Nintendo tells you can’t blow into your cartridges. “They might break.” But the unfortunate truth is, you’re shit out of ideas and you know it just works. Many believe it was the moisture from your mouth helped to bridge the contacts between the copper conduits. Sorry Nintendo, your advice was wrong and blowing into NES cartridges is kind of a thing.
Gaming is for Kids
We’ve discussed before how gaming helps old people recover fading cognitive capability and it’s worth a mention here. Gaming is not just for kids. One perfect example study was carried out by market research company, ESA. It found 53% of gamers fell within the 18 to 49 years old age bracket with the average being around 37. Kids might own us like the old gomers we are, but they’re certainly not in the majority… Bunch of noobs…
Gamers will Become Mass Murders
There are many tales of sad events in the world that the powers that be often attempt to link them videogames. But the overall concept of videogames making for violent behavior is simply not true. It’s been proven in boatloads of research carried out by highly credible academics. In addition to the research and opinion is covered in the article we specialized on the subject, sales continue to go up for violent crime continues to go down. Not to mention, no one in the office has killed anyone yet today… that we know of.
Squall is Dead in Disc 2 of Final Fantasy VIII
This one is maybe open to some opinion and speculation. The epic boss fight at the end of the first disc in Final Fantasy VIII sees the protagonist with his silly name and awesome Gunblade impaled by shard of ice while fighting Edea. At the beginning of disc two, his wounds are entirely gone and we’re met with a slightly stronger fantasy theme. A montage shows us Squall’s life flash before his eyes but has no face. Do you see dead people? Let us know in the comments.
Girls Don’t Play Videogames
This is another topic we’ve covered in a stand-alone article and that’s also worth a mention. As we spend our days fretting over how we’ll find a girlfriend who will understand (perhaps even join in with?) our straight 42-hour Path of Exile marathons, it can feel like there are no gamer girls in the world. But fortunately, there are. There are even organizations set up to encourage more girls into this hobby and the industry at large and the surge in mobile gaming is only serving numbers increase.
Transforming PS2s into Guided Missile Systems
What was that? You want to know where these weapons of mass destruction actually are? Oh. Well. In your old PS2, of course. Yes, ol’ Saddam McYolomod was reported to be stocking up on PlayStation 2 systems not to session Fifa with his buddies in the desert, but rather to transform them into guided missile systems. The facts quickly emerged that the software required to link the 128-bit PS2 processors with each other was simply not available in such locations and the mainstream media concerns were quickly quelled.
The Lara Croft Nude Code
Finally, comes the one we were all waiting so desperately for. Waiting for most of our lives, if we’re honest. The Ultimate Gamer team is sorry to report those endless hours we all spent scouring every possible information source for the combination of up, down, left, Y, right, square, circle, triangle, A, and X to make this happen… were all in vain. The code simply does not exist. On the other hand (if you catch our drift); in these days of modding and with the plethora of talented artists out there, a quick Google search should reveal to you a whole host of tweaks to enjoy the lovely Ms. Croft in all her natural glory.