The only thing more exciting than playing a good video game, is being excited about the next good videogame pending its release. We buy every magazine and search every blog in the hope of a quick glimpse at these new titles, desperate to find just one more screenshot we haven’t already seen.
Few things in life hold greater anticipation than when that they finally arrive. The downside? Just about the worst thing in the world ever is the undeniable realization that they are a massive disappointment. The fact we won’t see that $60 ever again pales in LCD-tan-significance next to the fact our dreams have just been smashed by a 64-hit combo. Here are The Ultimate Gamer’s 7 most disappointing games ever. Vent those frustrations and share yours with us what would make your list in the comments below.
Gran Turismo 5
How could we possibly ever forgive Polyphony Digital for making a Bugatti Veyron a “standard” pixelfest of a car instead of a “premium?” Even writing about it is almost enough to have us sobbing like little children. Sorry, but there’s simply no excuse for having half the vehicles with crappy textures and half of them nice and shiny and new. WTF?… The game development schedule was so disorganized and took so long to get out the door, industry technology had long since overtaken this installment of GT.
The biggest problem was that we fans waited such a long time for the game while titles such as GRID, DiRT and several others had long since overtaken GT with damage crash physics and (supposedly V12) engine noises that didn’t sound like a god-damned fart in an empty paint can. Cashing full speed, headlong into a barrier without a scratch to the vehicle? Unacceptable. The irony that it’s a racing game is almost too much… Last place for you, Gran Turismo V. Disaf***ppointing…
Dark Void originally expecting to sell around 5 million copies on release (HA!), on the promise it would let us take the smackdown anywhere we wanted, land or air. It’s hard to think it was voice acted by the same guy who made Nathan Drake from Uncharted 2 so awesome. Lucky for him, he managed to claw back some respect back later on. But this disappointment had a crappy, bug-ridden, disjointed combat system and forced us to do more repetitive tasks than a standard cookiecutter World of Warcraft clone that we didn’t even pay for. It could and should have been so much more.
Duke Nukem Forever
DNF didn’t just epitomize what it meant to be vaporware. It was actually the game responsible for coining the phrase. It dragged its sorry ass further into the realms of cliché by being the type of game to lull us in with prick-tease sexy graphics and the Duke Nukem experience we’d been longing for. We were sorely let down by a crappy storyline, dodgy mechanics and gratuitous sex scenes that fell far short of our wild expectations. The only joke worse than those in the terribly scripted storyline was the fact this game ever got finished. So sad.
As much as we all love Zelda and possibly one or two other franchises on the Wii, the console is just too ‘kiddy’ for most us. When Red Steel was slated for release, it promised a violent, glorious, maturely gory beast of a game. Finally, we had an excuse to justify buying a Wii. Sadly, the awkward, clumsy implementation of WiiMote FPS combat was devastating. The game’s inevitable fail dashed the hopes for more Wii gaming goodness to follow.
Around the launch of the PlayStation 3, there were problems. Most notable was the shameful overconfidence many of these freshly released games demonstrated. Lair had promised to herald a new gaming era in both adventure and eye candy. There was a lot to be excited about. What we actually got was a buggy incoherent mess of a game.
We wanted a dragon-riding adventures of never-before-seen scale, but instead received a straight up middle-finger-in-a-DVD-box that was no doubt a result of whatever development problems caused the game to be delayed several times as we eagerly anticipated the ride.
Aliens: Colonial Marines
The Aliens movies are practically a rite of passage into nerdhood, but very few of the games were actually worthwhile. Colonial Marines promised to be different. Surely enough of the franchise titles before it boasted sufficiently epic levels of fail to make developers take note of the past mistakes? Sadly, it was a nail in the coffin. We don’t care how good the special effects were in Prometheus. No more Aliens for us.
Armored Core V
There are certain things nerds want. There are certain itches we have that simply must be scratched. If riding around on dragons and adventuring in epic-scale, high-fantasy adventures is one, then making customized mechs and battling to the death is another. Armored Core V really promised to scratch this particular its itch. Our hopes were high.
Which only made it more of a whopping letdown. It’s like having a particular… itch and asking your girlfriend to dress up in that Princess Leia bikini you bought her for Valentine’s Day and sort it out for you. She says “yeah sure, honey”. You’re stoked. Made up. It’s happening! Then BAM. She dumps you the instant you’re are about to get satisfied. No one said nerd life would be easy…
Over to you…
What were your biggest gaming disappointments? Let us know in the comments.